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把一辈子当两辈子来用——100公里柴达木戈壁行散记(1)

2017-4-18 15:47| 发布者: huyong| 查看: 630| 评论: 264|原作者: 王君
摘要: 亲爱的孩子:我理解你的不理解:为什么爸爸妈妈要自讨苦吃?日常工作就常常累得像狗一样了,好不容易有个假期,窝在家里调整休息,上上网,看看视频,打打游戏多好。干嘛非要跑出去折腾?爸爸要穿越 ...
文:王君



亲爱的孩子:

我理解你的不理解:为什么爸爸妈妈要自讨苦吃?日常工作就常常累得像狗一样了,好不容易有个假期,窝在家里调整休息,上上网,看看视频,打打游戏多好。干嘛非要跑出去折腾?爸爸要穿越大半个中国到海南去骑行,妈妈呢,跋涉千山万水地到那柴达木的无人区走100多公里……你觉得,大人太奇怪了!

孩子,你还小。妈妈像你这么大的时候,也跟你一样不可能理解这样的生活。我跟你同岁的时候,身体还很孱弱,是个体育永远不及格,永远当不了三好学生的小姑娘。体育课我总是心虚地躲在人后,运动会跟我没有半毛钱关系。当时,我走过的最远的地方,最大的城市是重庆——那已经遥远和庞大到了超过我的想象。

但,孩子,人生是一个多么奇妙的变化过程。你永远不知道生活的下一块巧克力是什么味道。应该从你记事起,妈妈就已经是一个运动狂了吧?你小时候,跟着妈妈,跟着妈妈的班,就不知爬了多少山,走了多少路。最艰难的一次,我们在凤凰岭阳台山的山谷中迷失,一天走了40多公里才走出来。现在的妈妈,跟少年时代的妈妈,完全是两个人。你知道吗,孩子,每一个人,都在发生着让自己都吃惊的变化。所以,你永远不要觉得自己会一成不变,会永远是现在这个样子。

相信自己会成长,亲身去经历这样的成长,这便是生命的意义。

爸爸妈妈为什么要出来找苦吃呢?简单说,有以下几个原因:
首先,一辈子的时间太短了,爸爸妈妈都想把一辈子当成两辈子来过。

说到时间,孩子,妈妈跟你一样,在小时候,是没有概念的。我们会觉得最廉价最天经地义应该拥有的就是时间。我们有时候会对银行卡上数字的变小而忧虑,但对时间的流逝却毫无感觉。妈妈也是到了30岁以后,40岁以后,特别是这两年,才对浪费时间有了彻骨之痛。你才刚刚走进青春期,但是,妈妈,已经走在奔五的路上了。妈妈能蹦能跳,想去哪儿就能去哪儿的时间已经不多了。我们一起读过《毛毛》,也一起看过电影《时间》,孩子,考试失败100次算什么呢?被生活践踏,被人蔑视又算什么呢?如果我们足够强大,我们都可以置之不理。但只有时间的流逝,我们不可能熟视无睹。你也看到,比同龄人稍显年轻的妈妈也在长白头发,也在长皱纹。在不久的将来,像个小姑娘一般的妈妈也会成为一个步履蹒跚的小老太太。就像你最最亲爱的姨公,你小时候最能跟你疯跟你狂的姨公,心血管病后,哪儿也去不了了,连话也很少很少了。

孩子,这就是每一个人生命的轨迹,我们都将衰老,没有什么能够打败时间。它是绝对的暴君,且不可推翻。我们在它面前,唯有俯首称臣,唯有更加敬爱它,怜惜它,把一分钟当成两分钟用,把一辈子当成两辈子用,把生命的每一天都当成生命的最后一天用。

也因为这个原因,妈妈要到柴达木来走这100多公里。

爸爸妈妈从西部农村一直走到清华,国外,也去了很多地方,再大的城市对我们都不再稀奇。我们想去看看无人区,我们相信,3000米高原上的戈壁荒滩,一定有无与伦比的美。再不去,妈妈怕来不及了!孩子,如果你的心头有什么渴望,那就一定要赶快去做。梦想,渴盼,乃是生命全部的意义。而很多人,最后都把梦想变成了白日梦,没有付诸于行动,这是对生命最大的辜负。

就像《滚蛋吧,肿瘤君》中,弥留之际的熊顿喊出来的那对生命的呼唤:

听一场摇滚,和耳朵一起一醉方休;喝一圈烈酒,让酒腻子们闻风丧胆;开一场cosplay party,二次元万岁;摸一下大蜥蜴,我熊胆威风凌厉;吃三斤驴打滚,翻滚吧肠胃;飚一把摩托车,成为风驰电掣的女王;见一下微博红人,感受马伯庸亲王的慈祥;至少学会一样乐器,为喜欢的人弹;种一次昙花,守望者它盛开;做一桌丰盛的晚餐给爸妈,哪怕色不香,味不美;来一次夜钓,吸取月光静臆的能量;仰望喀纳斯的星空,寻找属于我的星座;沐浴漠河的极光,感受它的神秘;去山顶看一次日出,然后大喊滚蛋吧肿瘤君。

电影中这个片段,妈妈看得热泪盈眶。因为妈妈懂,那是来不及的爱,来不及的活啊!

其次,是妈妈想为自己找点儿苦吃。
这也许你就更不理解了。趋利避害确实是人的天性,追求享乐也肯定是人的天性。但是,孩子,妈妈希望你知道,生命中的很多“害”是根本“避”不了的,你只能迎接,只能承担,只能忍受。欢乐和喜悦都躲在这些承担和忍受之下。这是生命的悖论。我们这一生,想要平安过完已经是不易,如果还想过得好,多得有所成就,那就更难,更需要坚韧不拔的意志和超越常人的心胸。这意志,这心胸,老天爷不会赐予你,你想要,只能自己修炼。

而吃苦,是最好的修炼方式。

孩子,你要相信,吃苦这个东西,也跟吃糖一样,也好玩,也有意思,也会让人上瘾。

在这次远征柴达木100公里的团队中,有妈妈的一个小偶像,他叫董新宇,13岁,差不多跟你一样大,是一个三进柴达木的小伙子,是我们这次徒步的第一名,他现在已经不是普通学员,而是一级导师了。
一路上,我听了很多董新宇的故事。

他第一次被妈妈送到柴达木,才8岁。第一回,是被工作人员架着架到终点的,而且,还一边大哭大闹:这不是我要的人生啊,我的人生不应该这么悲催啊,你们要害死我啊!

所有人都以为,这个孩子,绝不会再出现在柴达木了。

但是第二次,他来了。第三次,他又来了。她的妈妈在《戈壁行走的故事—— 关于独立、梦想、勇气、坚韧、关爱、互助、服务……》中讲了孩子和自己艰难的心路历程。我把董妈妈的文章附在后边,希望你能读一读。

亲爱的孩子,你很难想象我们的团队,这么艰难的旅程,最小的妹妹才7岁,还有8岁、9岁、10岁的小孩子一大堆。都没有家长陪同,自己背着一个包,被爸爸妈妈送上飞机,然后就从天南海北汇聚到了西宁。而且,全部完成了高原上110公里的远征。

孩子,这就是吃苦的魅力,这就是吃苦的力量。这也跟你在网上玩游戏是一样的。如果没有那么多的关卡,没有那么多的障碍,这个游戏,还有什么意义呢?

孩子,妈妈相信你能慢慢理解,去柴达木的人们,选择的都是一种不断挑战人生极限的活法。这一群人,都是对生命分外用情的人。

似乎每一个人都活着。但其实,有一部分人,活到20岁就死了。妈妈才40多岁,我不想才活到40岁,我就已经把自己的50岁、60岁、70岁看得清清楚楚了,所以,我要去找一片无人区,亲自,一步步走下来。

离开庸常的生活,聆听自己内心的声音,跟随直觉和好奇心,用最最珍贵之物——时间,去交换一种对自己而言全新的岁月,去训练自己在绝望中找到希望的能力。孩子,这就是柴达木远征的意义。

妈妈
2015/10/10



*作者:王君,重庆最年轻的的特级教师,博士生导师,现任北京清华大学附属中学 年级主任。

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